Mean thoughts

No matter how serious the nature of your shared status message/photo/retweet,etc, I will still block you for spreading incorrect grammar and spelling on my wall.

Why is it i always get these mean thoughts in the middle of the night when every sane person is either out drinking or in bed?

Mommy is here.

A fellow photographer posted a link to this article which REALLY resonated with me.

Take the time to read it, it’s really sweet but the gist of it is, it doesn’t matter how crap you might feel or think you look, it’s important to be IN the picture.

As a photographer and a mother, this has always been a bit of a sticking point with me. I’ve often said I was extremely vain until my children were born and I then transferred my vanity onto them as evidenced by the 10,000+ photos I took of Gabriella’s first 12 months. At work and at home, I’m the one behind the camera which means I am hardly if ever in the pictures.

I capture memories for other families which I love, but so often I wonder if my kids will see how much I love them from the photos I’ve taken of them. Years from now, will they see themselves the way I saw them and will they feel and remember the love in my heart at the particular moment I snapped their photo? Will they remember how much fun we had that particular day without the visual reminder of my laughing face? Will they think of how I composed the shot, to get the light just right or the expression just so? Or will they wonder why I’m never in the photos, if i’ve removed myself deliberately?

Here’s the deal, I like having my photo taken. I DO like evidence to show I was there. I’m Filipino after all. But I also like having control of the photo taking process. Yes, I would like to be in focus. No, I don’t like my profile so i have to be looking straight at the camera. Yes, I would prefer that my head was in the photo. 🙂 What I don’t understand is people who not only don’t want to be in the photo but are vehemently opposed to it. Seriously, I’m not trying to steal your soul. In the Philippines, people would knock their granny over to get in the photo- I don’t think i’m exaggerating here. Yet I hear so many people here tell me how much they hate photos, hate looking at them, seeing themselves in them, etc etc. I especially can’t stand don’t understand the false modesty- the “no, no, i don’t want to be in the photo” and then all of a sudden throw a catwalk pose. Just get in there already!

Fair enough, some people are very self conscious of how they might look in a photo, it is after all a moment frozen in time for generations to pore over after you’re dead. But seriously, that double chin won’t matter so much when you’re gone and your grandkids are looking for photos of you together.

So this is me, reminding myself, to be present, not just in the moment, but in the photos and memories we leave behind.

If you are at a loss for a gift to the photographer in your life, a photography session by someone else is a start. Hint, double hint. (Insert link to my favourite photographer here) 🙂